It's Hell getting old, and I'm not even old, though I have the joints of an 80 year old. I want to write this to take into account the events which have lead up to my recent diagnosis. The lies, the cover-ups, the embarrassments that lead doctors and friends to believe that I was merely a seeker, that is, a person looking for drugs, when that was in no sort the truth.

I want to lay out there that I have Type I Diabetes, and I'm a smoker (over the years that status has changed several times). No doctor seems to look past those two facts with the exception of my Endocrinologist who will ask plainly, "What's the problem?" All of the other doctors would merely say, "If you lose weight and quit smoking, you'll feel better." or, "If you quit smoking, your problems will be solved." So I'll take you back to the May 2008 - when I stopped smoking.

The prior May, I had been mauled by Gus, my sister's ankle biting Welsh Corgi, and I had some minor swelling in my ankles (the most affected area). This went away, and it's 2008, I have a gym membership, I weight around 150, and I'm on Nicoderm patches, and I'm committed to going to the gym 3 times a week, and I DO! I'm not smoking at all, and I have made the commitment to get healthy. Wrong! Wrong!!! First of all, I can't stay on an elliptical machine for more than 3 minutes without my knees giving protest. My only thought is, "Boy, what a lard ass I am! I'm so outta shape! Three minutes today, 4 tomorrow." WRONG!!! I excused myself from the elliptical and got on a treadmill. 30 minutes later, sweaty and exhausted, I feel somewhat pleased with myself - no pain, no gain right. I decide to exit the treadmill. Do you know what tread legs are? It's that sensation that you're still on a treadmill when you aren't, and you try to keep up that pace on solid ground. As soon as the treadmill stopped, I got tread legs and tripped off the treadmill. I wasn't hurt at all; just embarrassed. I looked down at my sore ankles in utter shock. Both ankles had swollen out of my shoes. I knew it hurt to walk, but I was new to exercising, and I knew that I simply needed to walk the pain off, but I had no explanation for the nastiness of my ankles.

So, I drove across the road to urgent care, lied and said I twisted my ankles falling from the treadmill, got X-Rays - no sprain (surprise surprise), get an anti-inflammatory, and then go home to ice and elevate. The next day, the swelling and pain is gone.

This would be the first lie, the first embarrassment on the long road to discovering the truth.