I'd like to say today that my life has changed because of Enbrel, but I can't. Not yet. On Wednesday, I'll take my 5th injection, and over the past few days, I've been suffering from yet another flare-up. This outbreak is affecting my right hand and my left knee. I spent most of the weekend on ice and elevation, and today I'm feeling the worst of it. I've also tried exercising my joints, and I think this makes the inflammation worse.
I can say that I've also had incredible days. Many, in fact, that I've had little or no pain at all. I was even able to get up a lope one day.
I await the days of no flare-ups patiently. I'm giving this six months.
Monday, March 19, 2012
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
A Little Off Topic
I have no smile.
I'm not depressed, I'm not mad, I'm not being pensive (or maybe I am). I am physically incapable of producing a smile shape with my mouth.
I'm also sick of being told to smile, because when I try, my mouth turns down into a frown or into a flat straight line.
People constantly ask me, "What's wrong?"
Don't ask to see my "pearly whites." They are not pearly, they are not white, and they resemble a shark's teeth. Sharks can't smile either.
Well, maybe not that bad.
I have to tilt my head to give the appearance that I am smiling in pictures.
I am jealous of people who can smile.
I have tried every whitening product on the market under $500. and use whitening toothpaste twice a day.
The only remedy is $6,000 worth of braces.
This is my rant for the day.
I'm not depressed, I'm not mad, I'm not being pensive (or maybe I am). I am physically incapable of producing a smile shape with my mouth.
I'm also sick of being told to smile, because when I try, my mouth turns down into a frown or into a flat straight line.
People constantly ask me, "What's wrong?"
Don't ask to see my "pearly whites." They are not pearly, they are not white, and they resemble a shark's teeth. Sharks can't smile either.
I have to tilt my head to give the appearance that I am smiling in pictures.
I am jealous of people who can smile.
I have tried every whitening product on the market under $500. and use whitening toothpaste twice a day.
The only remedy is $6,000 worth of braces.
This is my rant for the day.
Thursday, March 1, 2012
High Heels and Flip Flops
I have cute feet. I'm not bragging, I'm simply stating a fact. They are somewhat small (when not swollen bulges of water), I like to keep them pedicured, and I have the cutest freckle at the bottom of my nail on my right big toe. They aren't flaky or smelly, and I've never mistreated them. I've always worn shoes that fit and accentuate the positive. I've always paid good money for shoes because I think that good shoes are worth the money, and more than anything, I want to be comfortable wearing them.
I have a love hate relationship with shoes. I have about 100 pair, but only wear a few of them for one reason or another. I love high heels. I love the look of them, I love different styles, I love to see my cute, painted toes poke out from them, but I can't wear them anymore. They simply hurt my already aching feet.
The last time I wore my favorite pair of heels was when I graduated with my Master's in 2007. I walked down Shorter Hill in the processional in torrential pain. I suffered through the ceremony, and made it until I met the photographer. I have one picture in my stockinged feet taken by the wrought iron gates, and it's my favorite one.I never put those heels on again afther that.
My most impressive spanse of footwear resides in the flip-flop/sandal arena. I have five pairs of Birkenstocks I still wear (one pair 20 years old and one pair 18 years old). I still wear the 18 year old ones. My Teva collection grows every year. My first Tevas died in a rafting accident, and I learned to buy sturdier ones, hence my second pair of purple Alps. I got those in 1996 for $110. My grandmother yelled at me for spending that much on sandals. I still wear them every summer. So far, I've only spent about $7 a year on them, and they are in perfect shape. Over the past 5 or so years, though, I have developed a taste for Teva flip-flops. I won't reveal the quantity of those, but I will say I have more than 10 pairs - I have over 1,000 pairs according to Phil.
The swelling and pain caused by my RA have limited me on my choice of footwear. Even my most conservative black loafers or short heeled mules cause me pain. And here I am now with my feet kicked up, shoes off at my desk typing, and dreaming of my Laura Ashley heels that I know I will be able to wear again someday. Sometimes none of my shoes fit, and I walk around bare foot or in my house shoes. I'm getting too accustomed to this. In a few weeks time, I'll be able to wear my high heels and flip-flops comfortably again!
I have a love hate relationship with shoes. I have about 100 pair, but only wear a few of them for one reason or another. I love high heels. I love the look of them, I love different styles, I love to see my cute, painted toes poke out from them, but I can't wear them anymore. They simply hurt my already aching feet.
The last time I wore my favorite pair of heels was when I graduated with my Master's in 2007. I walked down Shorter Hill in the processional in torrential pain. I suffered through the ceremony, and made it until I met the photographer. I have one picture in my stockinged feet taken by the wrought iron gates, and it's my favorite one.I never put those heels on again afther that.
My most impressive spanse of footwear resides in the flip-flop/sandal arena. I have five pairs of Birkenstocks I still wear (one pair 20 years old and one pair 18 years old). I still wear the 18 year old ones. My Teva collection grows every year. My first Tevas died in a rafting accident, and I learned to buy sturdier ones, hence my second pair of purple Alps. I got those in 1996 for $110. My grandmother yelled at me for spending that much on sandals. I still wear them every summer. So far, I've only spent about $7 a year on them, and they are in perfect shape. Over the past 5 or so years, though, I have developed a taste for Teva flip-flops. I won't reveal the quantity of those, but I will say I have more than 10 pairs - I have over 1,000 pairs according to Phil.
The swelling and pain caused by my RA have limited me on my choice of footwear. Even my most conservative black loafers or short heeled mules cause me pain. And here I am now with my feet kicked up, shoes off at my desk typing, and dreaming of my Laura Ashley heels that I know I will be able to wear again someday. Sometimes none of my shoes fit, and I walk around bare foot or in my house shoes. I'm getting too accustomed to this. In a few weeks time, I'll be able to wear my high heels and flip-flops comfortably again!
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